Self love seems to be a bit of a thing right now, and yup, I’m all for it. Big time. I love hearing about folk who are super happy with who they are, and equally so, I wanna be my own biggest fan. I’d much rather be adding my own ‘this is how I learnt to love myself and here’s how you can too’ post to the mix, but in reality, I needed to go with the ‘that’s all well and good, but it’s really fucking hard’ route instead. Because it is. The toughest, which makes self love extra gratifying when you finally get to a good point.
With self love being a popular topic right now, we all know the mantra – ‘you’ve got to love yourself first’, get all mindful and be a true lover of the positive vibes… But I’m also like HOW? How do I learn to love that little flabby bit? How do I decide I’m happy enough with myself to not be a little bit sad when someone’s says something awful? Come on, gimme specifics.
You don’t get up after reading a blog post and have some miraculous sense of self-realization, ready to become the strong, independent person you know you wanna be. I can sit here all day reading about it, but actually becoming a sassy Queen of the Universe ain’t that easy. Annnd that’s what I wanna say – we’re all here, with good intentions in regards to self love, yet it still has no better description than ‘easier said than done’.
Okay – what actually works?
Now I’ve had my self-love moan, I’m going to get down to the specifics. My specifics. Of all things that I actually think make a difference (without verging on sounding like BS) age and time are the biggest. Yep, I’m aware that’s all a bit shit really, as we can do nothing to speed either up. But it’s there, and it’s happening. I can’t explain exactly what happens, but it’s something along the lines of getting a bit older, knowing yourself a little better and giving a lot less fucks.
The other thing I find is a general one for being a happier bun – making yourself the busiest person on the planet. Don’t stop, because the minute you do you’ll pick fault. Okay, exaggerating, but staying busy keeps the mind on other things when you really need to. Other things like not thinking you’re ugly/horrible/fat/have bad taste in wallpaper. I try to keep my diary jam packed, even if that’s only doing life admin. Example – I can’t even remember when I last had time to really analyse the shape of my tits.
That’s it. I’m done. Not a huge amount of insight, but there’s comfort in knowing you’re not the only one thinking this is tough, right?! I’m pretty okay with me these days, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t take some working on.